Playful Parenting Tip#7 - Devote Time to Play

This week's Playful Parenting Tip for supporting unstructured play is to devote time for unstructured play with your children.  We have realized the importance of unstructured play with our daughter, and we make it a priority to play with her.  Unstructured play can happen with friends, siblings, or alone, but this post illustrates how parents and caregivers can best utilize unstructured playtime with their children.

Put unstructured play on your schedule.  We devote time to playing with our daughter as soon as she comes home from school.  We play with her for about an hour.  Not all families have an hour, so start with 15 minutes of unstructured playtime. 

Allow your child to choose what to play.   Take your child's lead what to play.  Don't say, "Do you want to play Candyland?" Do say, "It's our time to play together.  I wonder what you would like to play with me."  When this becomes a routine, your child may start planning what she wants to play with you.  

Mimic how your child plays.  This shows you notice what your child is doing, and children love when their parents pay attention to them.  For example, if your child makes his toy fly, you make your toy fly.

Avoid the use of the word no.  During your scheduled playtime with your child, avoid using the word no. Try to go with the flow of your child's play.  This is the time to let go of the "right way" and let it be the "child's way." If it's a serious matter, you will need to step in as a parent, but try do whatever the child wants to during your play hour. 

It's okay to be bored.  Almost every day, my daughter chooses to play school with her stuffed animals.  To be honest, I get bored playing school every single day, but I smile, find delight in her joy of the game, and immerse myself in the imaginary play scene.  I hope she has no idea I find it boring. 

Put down the cell phone.  Even if you are bored, resist the urge to scroll through your Facebook newsfeed.  If possible, wait till the end of your playtime, to send a text.  You want your children to feel like they are more important than a screen.   

Give your children the gift of play and your time.  

Some of the above tips, I learned from the book Parenting The Strong Willed Child by Forehand and Long.   We were going through a challenging time with our daughter, and I picked up this book I had sitting on my shelf.  The first tip in the book is "Attending to a Child's Positive Behaviors" through play and verbal reinforcement.  Incorporating the advice of attending to our daughter was one of the strategies we incorporated into our home that helped our daughter's behavior to improve.  

Devoting Time to Play is the last tip in the Playful Parenting Series.  If you have missed some of the other tips, please come back next week because I will be sharing a recap of each tip in the series.