Best Ideas for Kids in 2011

Photo by Peter Smith. 

My favorite post from 2011 is a craft of ONE UGLY BIRD, the turkey.  I performed crafting magic by turning this unfortunate looking creature into a marvelous beauty with my Paper Bag Turkey Craft.  This shows how you don't need much to make beautiful creations with your children because we were able to create this craft with basic art supplies and materials found inside and outside the home.  I know turkeys are out of season, but you can use the same steps to make another bird out of a paper bag.  Another ugly bird, the vulture, has been the wallflower of crafts for too long, and you can depict it's unique appearance using a paper bag.  If ugly birds aren't your thing, a paper bag could be transformed into a striking peacock.







Do you want to spend more quality time with your child in 2012 through art, play, and learning?  I know some fabulously talented bloggers who can provide you with an endless source of inspiration to help you nurture your child's growth.  Check out these blogs for the best ideas for kids' activities.  All of these bloggers are hosting the Best Ideas for Kids in 2011 Blog Hop, and sharing their favorite ideas from last year.  

AngeliqueFelix.com, The Golden Gleam, hands on : as we grow,Toddler Approved, Red Ted Art, The Iowa Farmer’s Wife, The Outlaw Mom Blog, Let Kids Create,  Come Together Kids, Creative With Kids,  Science sparks, Mama Smiles,  Rainy Day Mum, teach mama, Kitchen Counter Chronicles, The Imagination Tree, JDaniel Fours Mom, Teach Preschool, De tout et de rien: Activités pour le Préscolaire, Tinkerlab, Mama Pea Pod, Crayon Freckles, Sun Hats & Wellie Boots, From Tantrums To Treasure Hunts, My Creative Family, Classified: Mom, Puddles and Gumboots, Art For Little Hands, Creative Connections for Kids, At home with Ali, Nurturestore, The Chocolate Muffin Tree,Critters and Crayons, The Mommies Made Me Do It, Jamie Jumble, Mommy Labs, Messy Kids, Dinosaurs and Octopuses, Puddles and Gumboots, Putti Prapancha
Now, it's your turn to share your blog.  Participate in our blog hop by posting your Best Idea for Kids from 2011.  I know it's hard to choose just one, but please only post ONE idea.  Any blog entry related to children is welcome, but no giveaways, sales, spam, or offensive material.  I am looking forward to seeing the best ideas for kids from around the web.  

How to Be the Best Mother to My Daughter

I don't like to compare myself to other mothers because each situation and child is unique, but I do believe I am the best mother for my daughter.  Here are some parenting tips that make it easier to parent my energetic, brilliant, sensitive, and focused girl.  This doesn't mean I am perfect or always the best.  In fact, many of these lessons I learned by reflecting on mistakes and correcting my behavior.  I included links to my blog that speak to each idea, and illustrates what works for our family.

Accept my daughter for who she is right now.   It's okay if she doesn't want to attend ballet class because she can still enjoy dance at home, a setting she feels more comfortable.

Let her hands get dirty in the earth's soil.  It was truly remarkable to watch her create her own flower garden.

Transitions are hard for her.  Respond with patience and love when she has trouble dealing with changes. Create times to connect with her in a playful, positive way.

Give her opportunities to care for others.  The best place to start is in our own home, and sometimes I let her pamper Mommy.  Small children are egocentric, but keep encouraging generosity and compassion in relevant ways.

Teach her to contribute to the household.  Start encouraging help with chores at a young age.  Be happy for the help even if it's not perfect.

Provide lots of free play time.  Her happiest days are when she can spend most of the day playing.

Slow down.  Pause to take quiet moments in the day, and spend time doing nothing with my child.  In these times, she can feel appreciated for who she is not what she does.

Share my faith - a belief that there is a God who loves her and can provide her comfort and strength.

Allow my daughter to have her own creative ideas.  When we craft together, I have a vision for how I would like my own projects to turn out, but I allow her to use the provided materials to create something of her very own.  Her art pieces rarely look like mine, and I am proud she has her own self expression.

Appreciate my life.  Recognizing the beauty in my life and finding time to devote to my passion, creating activities for children, makes me a happier person.  Pursue a passion even if it has nothing to do with children.  

Why Play? It Makes Kids Happy!

Unstructured play is the most important activity I provide for my daughter.  I could chatter on about how play increases her language abilities, builds math skills, improves her physical development, and develops her social skills, but that is not the reason why I value it is so much.  While this blog features a lot of craft and learning activities, that is a small portion of our day.  In reality, our four year old daughter spends a lot of her day playing.

My daughter needs to play because it brings joy to her life.  That joy is vital to her emotional well being, and I strongly believe that emotional health is the foundation she needs to succeed in life.  

When she plays, she radiates freedom. 

She can tackle the world and exudes confidence.

The possibilities are limitless, and her creativity shines.

There is no other activity she participates in that causes her to break out in a song and dance.  

Look for my Top Tips to Encourage Unstructured Play in 2012!!  I will be sharing easy ways parents can support the practice of play at home.  

Gratitude for My Time and Place

The first half of this year was one of the hardest times of my life, and I had fallen into a trap of focusing on my grief.  I was full of sorrow and anger for the dream that I had lost, and it felt like I was just surviving each day.  I could still love and cherish my daughter, but I didn't love my life.  My life had taken an unplanned direction.

About half way through this challenging year, I decided to write this blog.  I knew I was providing an enriching play environment for my daughter, and I wanted to document the joy that I was bringing to her life.  By focusing on the beauty of parenting in the present, I hoped I could see the abundance of love and light in my life rather than focusing on the dreams lost and future changed.


By spending time writing about the positive environment I provide to my daughter and family, I have become more grateful that I have arrived at this time and place in my life.

My time and place provided ....

me to be born to a teenage mother who chose to love and provide for me.
food and shelter even in times of need.
a free public school system.
the opportunity for my mother to earn a college and law degree while raising three children.
a college degree from a school that challenged me and broadened my scope of the world and life.
a healthy job market so I could obtain a teaching job right of school.
internet dating so I could meet my devoted and loving husband.
a community supportive of cross cultural marriage.
advanced medical technology so we could conceive our daughter.
a career field for my husband that allows me to be stay at home mom, the best job I've ever had.

My time and place brought me to this journey of blog writing.  By documenting the life I am living now, I am able to recognize that I am living a bountiful life.  I have grown to appreciate my life is full of love, faith, health, growth, beauty, devotion, simplicity, creativity, and challenge.



So this journey of time and place has brought me the incredible gift of my life now.  I still feel sorrow for my loss, but it doesn't consume my life, the life that I have learned this year to love.   A life of living in the light of today and feeling grateful for it.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your beautiful families!

Better than Chocolate Cake

While I am still adjusting to life without Miss E at home full time, Miss E has taken to her first few days of preschool like a champ.  I have put on a good game face showing enthusiasm for this marvelous new adventure for her, but admittedly I am sad that this sweet and amazing phase of my life is over.  I know we will continue to share wonderful times together, but I will miss her constant presence.  
I am reassured by the fact that I know my daughter is in a place where she will continue to thrive.  I know she must really like it because she says she likes school more than chocolate cake.  

A Happy Mess

I appreciate a clean and organized home, but I am understanding of the mess that comes with having a child. When I was a public school teacher, one of the chief complaints from my supervisors was that my classroom didn't look neat and tidy. If someone were to just drop in our home unannounced, he might silently critique the same thing.

I value the mess that comes with our Miss E because it demonstrates so many wonderful things about our daughter.

She loves to read by herself and with others. She is busy playing. She is lucky to have so many wonderful toys.




She creates her own stories out of mud, sticks, water, and rocks. She plays in the fresh air. She has access to an outdoor play space.




I don't interrupt her flow of play by asking her to clean up her toys. A child's work is play. I don't think we'd appreciate our boss telling us to straighten up our desk in the middle of our work, and children need the same freedom to work. Her mind is growing through the play narratives she creates, and being surrounded by her mess with toys at just an arm length away are valuable tools to her storytelling. She is not inhibited by fears or worries about making mommy mad with her mess which I feel can only help her be more creative.




This is reminiscent of Tom Chapin's song, "Neat Mess".

I like my toys when they're nice and neat,
But I like 'em even more all over the floor
And underneath my feet.
A messy room is happiness.
Happiness is living in a neat mess.

No need to fear that a relaxed attitude toward play messes creates a pig sty. At the end of the day, she knows how to put away her toys. If she has a play scene she wants to keep, I sometimes allow her to let it be. Messes can be a positive sign children are busy, happy, playful, and creative.




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Location:At Home

Dancing to a Different Beat

When Miss E turned three, I thought we should give it another go at enrolling her in a class.  Her first experience at a toddler gym was not successful for her, but, surely, she would have matured enough in one year to enjoy a class this go around. I asked her what kind of class she wanted to take giving her a list of options, and she chose ballet.  I enrolled her in the best school I could find confident that offering her the best would ensure that she would succeed. 

I considered the first day of ballet class a success.  She bravely attended the class without me by her side.  She loved wearing the standard ballet uniform without complaining that she wanted to wear something else.  Only after the first day, I started having dreams of her becoming a star ballerina.  Of course, it was in the cards for her with her long, lean limbs.  She would be a natural.  The following two weeks seemed  positive too.  Miss E loved dance class.  She grinned from ear to ear during the entire class, and she was very active. 

Although, the Little Miss couldn't be happpier, I noticed she acted differently from the other girls.  When the class ran in one direction, she ran in the other.  When the girs practiced toe points, she was showing off her favorite move which I like to call the downward facing dog kick.  She was laughing and giggling while the other girls were seriously composed.  Not to mention, Mommy seemed to be doing the wrong thing too.  I had bought her cheap ballet slippers from Target when the other girls had real ballet shoes.  The other girls' tight buns miraculously didn't move during an hour of dancing while I couldn't even arrange all of Miss E's full, curly hair into a pony tail before class started. 

It was only a matter of time when the teacher dicussed her concerns with me.  She worried Miss E wasn't mature enough because she didn't appear to understand the directions.  I assured her that the Little Miss most likely understood the directions, but she just liked doing things her own way.  I expressed that she loved dance class. 

Her love for dance class didn't last long after talking with the teacher.  She no longer wanted to go and refused to enter the dance studio even after my pitiful attempts at cajoling and bribery.  I don't know what it was that shifted her feelings, but my gut tells me she didn't feel comfortable being herself in class anymore.  She may have sensed the teacher wasn't pleased with her behavior or Miss E noticed she danced differently than the other little girls.  After two missed classes, I pulled her out of the class because she lost interest.

Thankfully her love of dance and her favorite move, the downward facing dog kick, lives on in our household.  We still turn on the music and boogey, and most likely she isn't dancing like me which is a good thing.  She is dancing  the way Miss E likes to dance. 

My husband and I decided that we will no longer pressure our daughter to join extracurricular activities because we believe it's something she ought to do.  When she expresses her own interest in participating in a new activity, we will explore that option with her.  Her extra curricular activities should be just for fun and not based on our fantasies of super stardom.  She may not be learning all the proper dance moves and form, but at home we work at fostering creativity in many ways, and I am not worried she will be at any disadvantage later in life because she was a dance school drop out. 

Destined to Cosleep

Before becoming a mother, I was steadfast in my belief that I would never cosleep with my future children. Ha...Ha...Ha... When you make those "never" parenting statements, the probability increases you will have a child who tests them. We gave birth to a daughter, who was a nursery reject. Yes, that's right she was ejected from the hospital nursery because she wouldn't stop screaming at the top of her lungs, and the only solace was being held. Instinct took over, and I just knew my daughter needed to be held and sleep with me. You know how parenting books advise the importance of skin to skin contact for bonding. Well, Miss E certainly got a MEGA dose of snuggles because we needed to hold her almost 24/7 for the first five months of her life. She would scream bloody murder and very rarely sleep for more than a few minutes if put down to sleep. All the baby gear and sleep techniques didn't help. We were okay with it. We had longed for a baby for four years, and to have a baby who needed to be held all the time was our dream come true. Along the way, I read the The No Cry Sleep Solution, and I was assured that our family's sleep habits were normal and healthy for our daughter.

Fast forward four years, we had become part time cosleepers. No, I didn't need to hold her all the time anymore, so no bad habits were formed by "spoiling" our baby by holding her all the time. Miss E still needed Mommy or Papa to lay next to her until she fell asleep, but we had started to become weary of it. It was taking her longer and longer to fall asleep and needing to rest next to her for close to an hour doing nothing was becoming dreadfully boring. We started to get irritated with our daughter, and sometimes it showed. We know when we get to a certain level of frustration, our techniques aren't working. Cosleeping had worked for our family for a long time, but it was time for a change. We both believed at nearly four she could better understand the change.

We explained to her that she needed to learn to fall asleep by herself. She wasn't happy about it, but I stated that I was positive that she would be able to learn how to do it. I had reminded her that she was now able to use the potty and get dressed by herself, and she could learn how to do this too. I set up a sticker chart, and showed her that each night she fell asleep by herself, she would receive a sticker. After 7 stickers, she would earn a surprise.

The first week was rough. She cried a lot. She got out of bed a lot. It was well over 20 times of getting out of bed the first night. She begged me to go to sleep with her. During the day, there were a lot of meltdowns. I supported her by remaining calm and loving. I didn't need to resort to locking the door to get her to fall asleep on her own. Each time I escorted her back to bed, tucked her in bed, and told her I loved her. I still wanted her to know that we will still be there for her at night if she needs us even if she needs to sleep by herself. At the end of 7 days, she got a small toy.

By the second week, it was much better. She only got out of bed once or twice to find me to tuck her back in, and there was no more crying. By the fourth week, she didn't ask me to stay and didn't come out of bed to look for me to put her back to bed. After the fourth week, I haven't needed to use the sticker chart.

Now, she successfully falls asleep on her own. I am so proud of her because she showed true bravery because she was afraid to sleep by herself, but she worked through her fear. I was worried that I would traumatize her because the first week was so rough, but my concerns were put to rest when I observed her playing bedtime with one of her stuffed animals. She tucked it into bed, stroked his head, said "I love You", and told it she would be back in the morning. When the animal wanted Mommy to come back, she returned and showed caring to her animal helping it go back to bed.

I am not writing this to condemn parents who sleep apart from their children. Each child and family is unique with different needs, and I believe there is not one parenting strategy that works for all families. All that really matters is that children sleep and caregivers provide a safe space to sleep, and cosleeping can be made safe for newborns and young children. Just because you had child(ren) who slept all night in their cribs doesn't mean it works for all children because some need the warmth of a parent. I also believe there are some babies who need their space to sleep soundly.

Those of you accidental cosleeping parents who long for your own bed, it won't last forever. You can lovingly teach an older child to sleep on her own. You haven't developed a bad habit by responding to the needs of your baby and continuing to cosleep with a toddler, preschooler, or older child. You will know when you need to change your sleeping strategies, and you will know when your child is ready to cope with it.

Sweet Dreams!






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Location:At Home

My Prayer for All Children

Even if the outcome of the Anthony trial had been different, there is still the loss of an innocent child. She is one of far too many children who are abused, neglected, and killed at the hands of their parents and caretakers. How can we improve the lives of all children who deserve an innocent, safe, and happy childhood? This is my prayer for all children.
****

May you see love and adoration in your parents' eyes.
May you hear your parents' laughter at your silliness.
May you always have food on your table and a safe place to sleep at night.
May you be surrounded by a community of relatives, friends, and neighbors who care about you.
May you be given freedom to express yourself through play.
May you have more laughter than tears.

May your parents have the strength and resources to get help when needed.
May your parents have the wisdom to make you one of their priorities.
May your parents be your best advocate.
May your parents believe in you.
May your parents appreciate your true gifts.
May your parents strive for a better life for you.

May your community protect you.
May your community educate you.
May your community accept your differences.
May your community preserve your environment.
May your community work to make a better future for you.

May you always feel loved, safe, and happy.










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Location:My Hopes

Keeping Their Attention - Animal Observations

Whenever we go to a zoo or other place to view animals, Miss E decides the animal she needs to see first. If we stop to look at other animals along the way, she sees this as diminishing the possibility of getting to her animal of choice, and the pitch of whine rises to the point where I feel like one of the caged zoo animals being taunted by rude onlookers, and I need to escape by helping her find that animal pronto.

Yes, I know whining is not a desirable behavior, but there is something valuable in Miss E's ability to make a choice and adhere to the plan. Often we tend to think of preschoolers as distractible with low attention spans, but it is situations like this that disprove this notion. If she has decided she wants to see the goats, she is not distracted by a massive lion, an animal she likes a lot too.




I find the best approach is to satisfy her desire to view that particular animal. We will work together to figure out how to find the animal by looking at signs and the map. If I do stop to look at something that interests me, I make it short and reassure her that we will get to her animal. I realize preschoolers are developmentally egocentric and the ability to understand that another family member wants to watch another animal will be a challenge for them.

Once we reach the animal, we stop to look at the animal for a long time because she enjoys viewing the animal for awhile. This demonstrates that young children have the ability to keep their attention for a long time. She enjoys hearing me read the plaque describing the animal. Sometimes she is silent in awe, but other times she chatters about what she notices, and this is how I know what she is learning. She is captivated by watching the animals do regular things like walk, eat, make sounds, and especially pee or poop. She observes how they relate to each other. She wonders what they will do next. We talk about where they normally should live if they are not in their natural habitat, and she can be curious about how they ended up in a zoo if that's not where they normally live. She sometimes imagines how they may treat other kinds of animals or people if they ended up in the cage.






Taking a slow and child directed approach to animals, builds on the child's natural ability to focus attention on an activity for an extended time. It helps children build science skills like creating hypotheses and observing. It builds literacy skills by encouraging conversation about the animals and incorporating animal related vocabulary. Most importantly it validates children's feelings and opinions on what they find important and interesting even if it is goats.

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Location:Watching Animals

Growing Confidence

Miss E has been tending her flower garden for a couple of months. I gave her an assortment of seeds and a little plot to grow them. She has been responsible for tending her plants with tidbits of advice from me, but she was the one who made the choice whether or not to take care of her garden. Some days she wasn't in the mood to garden, but she continued caring for her plants. Just now, she can see the fruits of her labor because the flowers are blooming. I can tell by the sparkle in her eye, she is amazed at her flower garden. I think it is awesome she could grow something taller than herself, and I hope she is just as proud of herself.

Gardening is a wonderful way to build a child's self confidence in her abilities. In order for children to become more confident, they need to face challenges. Gardening is ripe with natural challenges - the weather, pests, and soil conditions. They learn that some goals take awhile to accomplish because growing a plant from a seed can take weeks, sometimes over a month. Even in the face of hard work, they realize sometimes they will fail. Plants will die, but they need to figure out how to keep the other plants alive.
When they persevere through gardening, they witness they were responsible for the creation of beauty, and that will make them feel good about themselves.

Growing a garden is hard work, but children need to work on tasks with delayed gratification. If you want to build children's confidence, they need to face challenges, persevere, and fail. Through this adversity, they will grow into more confident people.

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Location:In the Garden

Doing Nothing

In the "House at Pooh Corner" by A.A. Milne, Christopher Robin must leave his animal friends, and they bid him a sad farewell. Pooh spends the rest of the afternoon with Christopher Robin. They talk about what they each like doing best, and Christopher Robin says, "...but what I like doing best is Nothing." And he later clarifies, "It means going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering." This is especially poignant because I assume Christopher Robin is going off to school, and he is saddened that he realizes he will no longer have time to do nothing. Christopher Robin and Pooh are enjoying laying down in a shaded grove of trees telling tales, doing nothing. Reading this reminded me of the importance of doing nothing.

His satisfaction in nothing comes from free time, a loved one's company, freedom of imagination, an appreciation of natural surroundings, sharing ideas, and not needing to produce anything tangible. While nothing physical is produced, quiet, do nothing time produces a warmth of spirit. Spending time with children with no agenda gives children an opportunity to feel loved for exactly who they are as a person and not what they can do and produce.

With our hectic schedules, it may be hard to find time to just sit, talk, tell stories, dream, joke, giggle, cuddle, feel the warm sun and breeze, and watch the world pass instead of trying to keep up with the world. You don't need to give up the activities you enjoy, but instead of rushing to complete what's next, pause for a moment. Find a beautiful and/or quiet place to pass time doing nothing with your child.

When I think of special memories I have shared with my daughter, many of those times come from the everyday, simple moments. Times when we stop our daily activities of reading, arts and crafts, gardening, playdates, and grocery shopping. I remember holding her on my chest to sleep as a baby. We enjoy sitting at the edge of streams throwing rocks in the water. The times when she wants to stop playing and just cuddle on the couch. She has always enjoyed just sitting on different benches. We cherish our evening walks to meet our special kitty friend, Sweet Boy. Miss E and her Papa love to rest in bed telling stories before bedtime.

Create these moments of serenity for your child. You and your child are sharing love and joy by doing Nothing, and that is Something worth doing.

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Location:Anywhere